Lead us not to Devastation.

Is it possible to walk through fire and emerge frozen?

These trees which are my home,

This silence which deafens me, grows longer, ever more.

These tears have left tread marks on this pallid face.

Oh the wishing well, how it has gone dry.

But still, yes still, I dream of a clearer, brighter, sky.

Where must I journey to find it?

Lately, I fear insanity above all else.

It's as if Death lives, creeps, crawls under my skin.

This crash brought voices of which I cannot begin to distinguish.

I fear insanity above all else.

Loneliness was cemented into the palms of us few at birth. Forced to walk over water with the burden of the war of Hell and Heaven on our weary backs.

That was normalcy. This is an abstrusion of Humanity's justice.

Would that I could lie to sleep, awaken on our Merciful God's breath.

The epitome of all that would and could be upon our eyes, a lesser sentence of these dreaded shackles.

But we were made blind. Sing me a song to sooth the generations, I was buried underneath, afterwards of course. I could not keep from drowning.

We've Got Warrior's Rhythm in Our Blood, We Do.

Again I ask, where inside the heart of man can there be any safety

Cause these are the roses that have been drained of life from obvious questions

But this bud blooms continuously; it seems only to be stepped upon

Child

Child you bleed colors of which I cannot begin to name

Your hands seem to be your own personal Jesus

But there are scars all over your body

And sometimes I wish I could cradle you in my arms

Back to sweet, sweet sleep, if you could just breathe

Because in the end that’s all we can do

Oh darling child if I could but cradle, just cradle you.

Oh their problems pale in comparison to ours

But our shoulders always stay an Amazonian strong

The pounding fist is no one else’s, we are the ones that beat our chests loudly

Proudly

Without Ignorance we save many

We are victorious by the end of the day.

Oh how our lungs tire, our skin becomes so tight

And men may leave just to come back and stare at our loving eyes, because it is inside that we hide

So cleverly, so righteously we cling to what is us, no one will ever know.

Oh the devil will lie, but I promise darling we are victorious at the end of the day

And perhaps The Lord has not promised us anyone and perhaps our road is the one less traveled

But isn’t it better to be alone than to be kicked and spat at?

Oh we must speak spears and we must wear shields

Our kind is represented as Jezebel. Who is wrong once again?

We are the “flaw” in creation. I ask you now, who is wrong once again?

I cry out loud

And tear my hair

And my fists fly

For all that was done to you.

Child, oh child you bleed colors of which I cannot begin to name

If I could but cradle you back to sweet, sweet sleep.

If you could but learn to breathe

I know, I feel, that everything will be fine and just again.

I know, I feel, that everything will be fine and just again.

Better get used to this huh.

And I’m not quite certain what crime was laid against me,

But I can no longer rest when the light has left your eyes.

I’m actually dying to understand the enigma that is you

Because I suppose you’ve caught me hook line and sinker.

But as usual it’s always my fault, I never expect to trip

I’m a “goldfish”, it’s so new, but I fall harder every time.

But it’s too soon to have felt this minute as if it’s been years.

Oh I am so young. Paint a picture with your voice, again the shuffling of potential warmth

So love, why is it you run? Is it because I’m so crooked?

Oh and all I can do is break and break and break until there is no more.

Because I cannot force the blind to see, I cannot make the deaf hear

I cannot make the crippled walk and I cannot make you want me.

So I will continue to worry and continue to care

For fear that another life would hold less “happiness”

I’ve never had so much fun being so bare

But now that I know I’m naked it’s pretty scary

Oh it seems Adam has tricked Eve into eating the forbidden fruit.

What happened in three days?

Well the world left and then some. It seems I lose again.

Can't you see? It could end tomorrow.

Oh it's been said so many times,

we roam this earth with our shut eyes,

and how sad that it takes a heart to stop working

for us to finally wake up.

And my Lord would not appreciate this I know

for us to be to so blind when he blessed us with sight

and who are we to ignore the lessons he gives

but focus so willingly on the obstacles the other has thrown

And though I know I disappoint so much

I know at the end of the day I have asylum

Because I know you've all been kicked and made to eat dirt as I have

But he's been the only one to pick me up over and over again.

And I throw my hands into the air and praise him for what's gone and what I have

And If you only knew how thankful I am! It's because of him that I can sing

It's because of him I can dance. It's because of him nothing happened to you last night.

I am in awe of you. I will never stop loving you Lord.

And I wish I had more than just words for You, who made the rain, the earth, the sky.

And I wish I could sing forever of He who gave me breath and life. An infinite happiness from being his daughter

"Thank you for keeping them safe tonight"

Bad Luck Blues

As I was carried over the footprints of the Angels I realized our love was more of a suicide attempt. A challenge from Mount Olympus that was brutally fought. A breath full of diseased water...

I love winter the best

Because your cancer was a cure
and my sickness was the key
to patch up the past...But I could never hate what was so Christian to me.
Oh I was saved from failure and worn out from love,oh there was passion that tore from skin and bone.But we fought for this love. And the bright lights of New York tore us apart like a lion in an arena.
And when the sun glistens I think of the fire and halo that was your hair and your heart.
Oh and honey and tea were our eyes.
And black and blue were our arguments
A decision to hide from the public
A love that was never supposed to be, will end up being, will end up beating,will end up burning what couldn't be tamed.

oh but you ran through my veins and I ran through your soul and our bodies entwined ever after that night.
And those who would hit and spit at me lost to you in battle.
I guess you could say that you were my personal Christ, but I can see where you would see that as laughable.
Can't you see? Those killer's eyes aren't red with anger they're green! They've wanted this forever. You've never felt something like this and you were scared. But I was there to catch you.


I will NEVER forget all the blood coughed up.
The fists that flew. The men that killed me from the inside that I had no chance against.The past that I killed just for you.
Because I meant what I said when we made promises to each other that night...

I maybe clumsy and weak but I'll be damned if I let someone hurt you.

Maybe you're too busy...

Just because you can see, does not mean you are not blind.


This heat is nipping at my heels again...
Sorry for being so annoying lately guys, I really don't mean to.

oh, and I can't fall asleep peacefully anymore, because you all eat me up so much.
One mistake is a thousand, No I don't have the time, no I don't have the intelligence , but I'm here.

I'm fixing it, just don't look at me anymore.

Because the Mind is Afflicted

Although the mind be afflicted
There was Jesus through the music that man played.
Oh, here they are again the voices that no one could hear that caused him to fail.
From strings of two to four, he filled a man's heart and found salvation.
Oh there is Nirvana in music, a passionate lover indeed. Oh how his music moved me. To tears and back again. I found myself in another world. One of truth and vitality, where the air was so tangible it was as if I was walking through water.
Oh I finally saw color rippling around me!
Oh how his music touches me!
Dripped on wounds I am strong again. I can live a little more.
With it I am all powerful.
I can fly, sing, dance my way out of hell for once.

But because the mind was afflicted, he saw the truth.
There is an end to every tune.
Because he was afflicted he asked himself:
"How long can one run from hell before the music stops?"


Ladies and Gentlemen, it is because of this he NEVER drops the bow.
And it is because of this I will NEVER stop listening.

Thank you.

In Noctem's Inspiration

Carry our souls into the night.
Lead us not to desperation!
And through the years we hope to find a lesser revelation.

Bring me the broom, I hear the wind chimes, the battle begins right under the stars. Oh I heard bells all the time signaling salvation. And I could chant all the while, I could swing the staff in the water, I could sing hymnals of sweet sorrow only in recognition.

Captain! Lead us not into desperation for the fear is overwhelming! Our people's past is slowly fading,oh through the years we hope to find a lesser revelation.

Carry our souls through the night, lead us not to deprivation, oh through the years we never found our lesser revelation.

Our sons were sent with out their spears or their shields, sent out for peaceful conversation. They later returned with blood, sweat, and tears, the news of our condemnation.

What could we have done? Our people's past was slowly fading. The stars were never brighter than the fire in our enemy's eyes, our gruesome greater revelation.

Chapawee is Inspiration.

And this love is so old. And these hearts are so new. And these tears are so right, I yell not because of , but for you. OH this love is so, so right.


And I lie down at night wondering when it'll happen. I see longevity in your eyes. Can't you see jealousy in mine? I see happiness in the lines of your palms. I see that the lines of mine are too, too short. But I want this flight so, so much. And I dream of this all the time. But there's never reassurance. All I have is doubt. Yes, I am a failure, but I'm making things right. Yes, I am a disappointment, but I want the hate to leave your eyes and so because of this I strive. Yes, I'm way too fucked up, and it'll take you a while to get me, but...wouldn't it be great if you tried?

I believe in this, believe in you, believe in me won't you? But you don't know....

We are the too, too proud. We could just let things get away. We are the ones to regret after all is said and done, we are the ones to loose the day. There are fires that come and go but this one is guarded....


Can't you see? I just want to grow old with you. I want to see our hands wrinkled together with age, and love. I want to awaken in nirvana next to you BECAUSE this love is so, so right.

I'll walk you home, what time's the bus come?

I heard your name on the street today
Tell me baby where has your brain gone
Because I can remember when it had some sense in it
But now I can tell it's all gone away
'scuse my English but fuck this scene
I know that with you, there's no in between
Oh I'm tired of the lies and then the sudden comfort
just because I know about it don't mean it's alright.
There's always something goin on that I don't know about
and I should be pissed but I guess I don't care.Yeah that's about it I don't care.
Pass me the bread, and break in the wine, I'm telling you, you're a queen mixer
because regardless of whether someone's getting hurt it ain't fair.
Tone it down, I know you're tired of hearing all the shit, so
Tone it down, you're so much better than that, believe it or not it's true
DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU.

Futterwacken.

I find it highly suspicious that you are the way you are as of late.
I don't know you.
People keep asking me what I mean, I tell them "exactly".
Stop asking if you don't want the truth.
I'm glad I won't see some of you afterward.
I'm sad I won't get to see some of you enough.
But stop asking, I'm tired of your eyes.
I'm having this party, and I want you there, but I'd never tell you, you'd kill me. jk.
you'd probably scough and be on your way.
And no, I'm not talking to you, you cocky bastard.
Why would you go to tea and crumpets to have them thrown at you, silly boy. and no, silly girl, satisfaction is no excuse for selfishness.
I'd like to be happy too... for once. Too bad it ain't happenin' any time soon.When will you all realize that talent doesn't bring a person happiness, love does. I'm hoping too hard for the passing of time. To walk in red and not fall. That would be great. Even if I did fall, at least I'm walking in red. I mean damn. And stop asking me about it all,He's not here, shut up for once!

Remembering The Cicadas

Oh there's not much more that we can do
swimmin against the high waves ain't never been too smart
But because we're so hopeful, we go through with our little suicide mission.
Because I love you. Because he loves her. Because she loves me and so on.
Oh, we move on towards the humming and the buzzing.
As mindless as the cicada that runs into the lamp. "We're pretty big, but pretty useless, we get caught in spiderwebs anyways" Because we want to, because it's ending we loose ourselves as fast as we can.
Oh we'll burn the letters just to prove we're wrong. Because she loves him, but he doesn't love her. Because all they'll do is mate and murder.
Because in the end "it doesn't matter"... But it does.
Every touch will mean so much. Every kiss will last so long. Every sigh and moan and tear and hug is forever.
So don't forget it.
It's all we have.
It's all you have.

No the airplanes can't be shooting stars. Damn.

Someone means "yes" when it's been said, not otherwise.
pretty peaceful except when I took a nap and had a bad dream.
I'm always being chased by a killer or zombie or something.
I'm happy with living so I'm glad it was just a dream. I'm almost certain Freud would say I'm pretty messed up. I guess I'm ok with that too.
SO this college thing is starting to get to me and I'm not even there yet. I think it's mainly the money that I'm worried about. Everyone is saying I should be fine with scholarships and stuff. don't you have to be smart for that? I thought so. Maybe I'm just lazy or not trying hard enough. I'm supposed to talk to the choir director of Mars Hill so that he might give me that singing scholarship. I'm afraid to approach him because it might be too late. way to go pussface. learn your lesson yet?


I've also had enough with people trying to plan out my future. I would like to be criminologist,not an entrepreneur alright guys? maybe I'll take a business course or something but leave me be. I'm no cash cow for you either. Blood runs through my veins the same way it runs through yours.

I dreamed of him today though. No, not whom you think. This one is different. Preferable,and nicer and easier to get along with but I've no time for another person who doesn't and won't realize I exist. He's a sweetheart though. hahaha.no, jajaja. or huahuahua, or LAWL. This rain today hasn't washed away anything. ^_^


I've been losing sleep again lately. Hate when that happens. Not enough to be sick but enough to keep me awake and thinking. Sometimes thinking is a bad thing you know?
Whatever, I need some prayer though for real. Would it be too much to ask who ever is reading this for some? well if it is I'm sorry.

Jumper

So I don't know about you guys, but it's been the end of the year for a while.
This kid I know has been killing me for ever and I haven't done a damn thing about it.
I don't think I ever will. Maybe if I sing loud enough they'll go away for ever. The point is whenever something that might be good crosses my path it turns out to be bad. I'm done with him though thankfully believe it or not. It took me forever, but it don't hurt so much. So I went to this thing and I saw a dude and said "game time" but someone wouldn't have any of that nonsense. Her beauty won him over in the end. I'm used to it. Sound depressing? Get over it. hahaha.no jajaja. or huahuahua, or LAWL.

So she tried to believe
that he was love, because his blood was on her pretty white shirt
and when he had his way, there she lay thinking "oh God what was done?"
She went to ride horses but all the pretty women took them all and they were all helped on to them by these gallant gentlemen.
None were left but a spunky mule, and this clueless girl.
She fell once but the mule gave her another chance. "looks like it's just me and you love" The mule paid her no attention, and walked them on.
Story of her life.
They call her love.