So things gave gotten a little harder lately. I'm still looking for a job and it's been a few months since I've gotten home from school.You can only imagine how useless I feel. Having to depend on my parents is one thing,and it's not as if I was completely independent in the first place, but it makes you feel like a failure when you're home all day with nothing to do other than remedial tasks of everyday life. I cook, I clean, I read, I watch tv, and that's usually my day. In between I shower and brush my teeth, exercise, do whatever else there is to do when one doesn't have a car or a job or...purpose.

Yes. I believe that is what hurts me more than anything. I feel I have lost purpose, and on top of that I feel that I am losing faith. I have taken to asking if people need babysitting or dogsitting. If they need their houses cleaned. I'm even trying to go busking. Any bit will help. I'm sure things will pick up sooner or later, but for now I'm wallowing in these shitty little moods.

On a somewhat lighter note, I may be auditioning for American Idol. I'm not quite certain of how that'll work out, seeing how I've never really seen the show and how I have a bit of hatred towards it. I figure it's a change of scenery though, and for that I should do it. I've been choosing some songs just in case. Anyway, I will let you know if anything else happens. Wish me luck :D